Cromartie High School is an episodic comedy show depicting the life of an average guy, Kamiyama Takeshi, after he had accidentally enrolled in a famous delinquent school. Delinquents, however, prove to be the least of his worries as he shortly meets pencil eating weirdos, gorillas, foreigners, robots and aliens attending the school. There is absolutely no plot continuity and the show concentrates on short delinquency inspired gags coming off as a compilation of anecdotes. Ignore this show if you are looking for substance, but give it a chance if your goal is pure laughter.

Let’s say there’s one rabbit living happily in a pride of lions. Wouldn’t you agree that that rabbit’s one hell of a rabbit?

Originally drawn as manga by Nonaka Eiji and directed by Sakurai Hiroaki (Sexy Commando) Cromartie High School is an episodic comedy show depicting the life of an average guy, Kamiyama Takeshi, after he had accidentally enrolled in a famous delinquent school. Delinquents, however, prove to be the least of his worries as he shortly meets pencil eating weirdos, gorillas, foreigners, robots and aliens attending the school. There is no plot continuity and the show concentrates on short delinquency inspired gags, mostly funny stuff but also with some awkward moments here and there. The short episode length and absolutely no correlation between them makes Cromartie look more like a special commercial aired to lighten the mood in-between something serious rather than a full-fledged show.

Personally I had high hopes for Cromartie, the potential for comedy it offers is seamless. Unfortunately, no plot continuity and short individual episode length makes it impossible for this show to tell any complex jokes. Obviously there is no development going for the characters and the whole cast is ‘just’ there. So while the guys have some hilarious quirks, nothing apart from their comedic relief is really fleshed out. Cromartie is not bad for lightening the mood, but it has so little substance that labeling it a full-fledged anime is a sin against people who actually put effort into their shows. Nonetheless, I did find Cromartie funny and it might prove to be a good vaccine to cure your depression… just don’t expect much. And remember, there is plenty of better stuff out here.

Animation: 2

The animation produced by Studio Bihou is bland and tries to cut corners everywhere (it still looks surprisingly adequate though). Background detail is kept to minimum, and while they look okay for the most part you will unlikely find a sight you’ll be mesmerized by. Color palette is ‘shaded’ vivid giving the show a relaxing comic book’s feel. At first it might seem there is some nice detail put into character designs, but it wont take long to notice that virtually every person in the show has an identical face model (except some weirder characters, like gorilla or protagonist’s childhood friends). Nonetheless, all the guys have quirks (like purple punk hair or afro) and just as you would expect from delinquents come off as intimidating… and dangerous. Facial reactions are few and not particularly engrossing, but I guess that’s as much as you can expect from the brick-heads. Such designs also add a lot to the anime’s atmosphere which tries its best to keep up with “badness”. You will be pressed hard to recall their shapes after you’ve finished the show, but it’s unlikely you’ll find a moment to sneer at the guys as there is virtually no deformation and ultimately they do look adequate if bland.

Animation fluidity is where the show tries to cut corners the most. There is a bunch of recycled frames and virtually no inbetweens. Characters rarely move (as the show concentrates on verbal comedy for the most part) and when they do, you can easily notice their movements blatantly skipping. Frame rate is barely one step further from a scrolling pictures show. There is nothing particularly specific in direction department either, as the show follows the usual slapstick pattern.

Sound: 2

OP song Jun by Yoshida Takurou, or rather the animation which follows it, is damn hilarious. Since the show has episodes only ten minutes in length it’s needless to say I’ve always watched a bunch in one sitting, nonetheless rather than skipping the OP, I’ve found myself actually recycling it a few times over… as damn, is it cool. Likely the funniest thing in the whole show; also guilty for raising my hopes for this anime higher than it could ever achieve. EDs, on the other hand, are not as addicting, but fit the ending mood quite well, though it’s unlikely you will remember them for long… or even listen to them for long. Background music composed by Lantis (Hyakko), however, is bland and unmemorable, you wont find a single scene in the show where music would do something significant. It’s not particularly atmospheric either, heck, it’s usually hard to tell if it’s even there.

Voice-acting on the other hand is surprisingly good, apart from Sakurai Takahiro who masterfully catches the always calm tone of the protagonist you will also have pleasure to hear the all-mighty Wakamoto Norio who is brilliant as always with his role as Mechazawa (and some stand-in generic guys) this time. Other guys, mostly voiced by amateurs, also sound okay; it’s not like they have much to say anyway.

Story: 2

It has been awhile since I’ve seen such a huge waste of potential. With the first episode you are introduced to a huge cast of eccentric delinquents and a main character who is a perfectly normal (but not boring) guy. Now, if there was some plot continuity the hilarious situations of this guy acting spacey and conquering the school from foreigner, gorilla and robot delinquents would be priceless. Sadly starting with the second episode the show becomes completely random without any continuity whatsoever, and hell, awkward plot developments which are sometimes too hard to follow. It feels as a compilation of anecdotes which have neither time-line nor affect each other in any way. All the quirks of different delinquents, however, (like car sickness, inability to speak Japanese or… err, being a robot) are quite well utilized and the show is indeed funny. Nonetheless, the thought of how much better this anime could have been had it actually tried hurts more than its anecdote humor can heal.

Characters: 2

The protagonist, whose name I kept forgetting, is the only “normal” guy in Cromartie school. He is so normal it actually makes him freakier than most of the delinquents. I mean, the guy explains manners in a calm voice when his listeners eat pencils or are about to kill each other. Or he joins a raid, is the only one to come early and leaves a note for his classmates that he couldn’t wait anymore… on the walls of the school he was supposed to raid. He also tends to explain common sense (which he himself is so full of he uses it in situations that are not exactly “common”) and educates his delinquent friends in common psychological controversies. I particularly liked the episode where he explained prejudice and how it sometimes makes people assume things that are but illusion (it wasn’t particularly funny, but slightly educating it was).

There is a bunch of guys in the side cast, few have real personality traits, but many have quirks for comedic potential. Hayashida has this pink punk hair which moves around by itself and acts as Kamiyama’s idiot lackey most of the time. Hokuto seems to come from some sort of rich and powerful family and is aiming to dominate Japan someday, though it seems Cromartie is constantly proving too much for him. Maeda is a normal delinquent, who is about the only one to raise a weak voice of reason when Kamiyama calmly explains etiquette to gorilla. Takenouchi seems to be the strongest guy from the first years and is supposedly controlling the school (too bad it was never shown how it really happened). He is also prone to motion sickness and is constantly inadvertently pwned by Kamiyama when they (always) meet inside vehicles. There are no female characters in the show, except for Maeda’s mom… who doesn’t speak and looks like a man anyway. The more demented of the bunch include a (foreigner?) Freddy who doesn’t speak either, a gorilla, a kind robot Mechazawa who is always ready to explain how a true man should live and a bunch of aliens. Yes, the guys are funny. Are they characters? Yes, as much as a sandbag, with a face painted on it, is.

Conclusion: Cromartie High School is a compilation of delinquent inspired anecdotes at best useful to lighten the mood up. You wont find any substance in plot or characters whatsoever, however, if your objective is pure laughter - Cromartie can give you plenty. It’s far from the funniest thing I have ever seen and also one of the least memorable, nonetheless, it certainly has moments which are bound to crack you up. If you enjoy Japanese humor I’d recommend checking the superior Bobobo, Fullmetal Panic? Fumoffu!, Furi Kuri and School Rumble out.